Cherries, Chocolate And Me: The Viewing Files: The Fairytale Version

I've never really gotten the fairy tale thing. Spells and magic and a handsome prince who rides in to save the day and marry you into a life of being bored out of your mind while you try to give him the much needed heir. Seriously not my idea of happily ever after in any universe.

Still watching all these movies I can now perhaps see some of the appeal. Walking around in pretty floaty dresses while singing about true love with a bit of magic on the side to give you endless cake and books...

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Starring: Cute animated animals

Original release: 1937

Synopsis: Snow White becomes a housekeeper to a bunch of miners

When Snow White used the cute animals as slave labour she started to lose some credibility.

Seriously though this is surprisingly cute and sweet with very much 1930s feel to it. The animals are what totally made it for me.

Cinderella

Starring: Animation

Original release: 1950

Synopsis: A fairy godmother and some glass slippers

Romance fairy tale style where some guy chooses you because you dance well and have small feet.

Cinderella

Starring: That girl from Downton Abbey and that guy from Game of Thrones

Original release: 2015

Synopsis: The non animated version

Magical.

Which is just what you want and need from a fairy tale.

Ella Enchanted

Starring: Anne Hathaway

Original release: 2004

Synopsis: She just can't say no...

To be honest the 8 year old me probably would have loved it.

Then again 8 year old me had no taste.

Enchanted

Starring: Amy Adams and 'Dr McDreamy'

Original release: 2007

Synopsis: A princess finds herself in a strange land

It's kind of silly and cheesy but what the hell, Amy Adams is just so giddy and fluffy and adorable that you can easily forgive any flaws.

Ever After

Starring: Drew Barrymore and a rather sexy Scotsman

Original release: 1998

Synopsis: Cinderella if she was a medieval peasant girl

Would have worked better with a different actress in the lead role (sorry Drew) but major swoony feels for Dougray Scott who is just perfect as the Prince. I also loved the banter between the 2 leads and how you saw their romance grow.

On the whole a pretty decent version.

Stardust

Starring: A bunch of familiar faces

Original release:2007

Synopsis: A star falls from the sky

Mark Strong and his ghost brothers made this movie bearable. Just.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Starring: The Twilight Girl and Thor

Original release:2012

Synopsis: Snow White the love triangle.

The serious YA version we never wanted. There's even a love triangle. Thank God all involved went on to better things.

The Huntsman: Winter's War

Starring: Thor... again

Original release:2016

Synopsis: Do we really care?

You think I would have learnt from the 1st one. But no.

Maleficent

Starring: Angelina Jolie

Original release:2014

Synopsis: The Evil Fairy is really just misunderstood

Angelina Jolie being evil is the only thing good about this movie. Unfortunately it's only for about 5 minutes.

This time I'm definitely not watching the sequel.

Labyrinth

Starring: Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie

Original release:1986

Synopsis: She's just a girl looking for her brother...

I'm not much of a fan of fairy tales so this was never gonna to be my kind of movie. Even more disturbing is that JC looks about 13 instead off 16 so it's just a tad icky that the Goblin King wanted to romance her.

On the plus side: The main song that Bowie sings is great and the whole look of it is very magical.

One for lovers of fairy tales but not for me

Hansel & Gretel

Starring: Hawkeye and some English chick

Original release:1986

Synopsis: Hansel and Gretel... Monster Hunters Incorporated

Mildly entertaining. Which is saying something considering.

Red Riding Hood

Starring: Pretty people

Original release:2011

Synopsis: The big bad wolf

Not even the 5 minutes of Michael Shanks being on screen can make this movie bearable. And don't get me started on the male romantic lead who was just the worse.